Hostess Gift Pressure

There is a lot of pressure now when it comes to the perfect and “appropriate” hostess gift. I can remember when a bottle of wine, maybe $5.00 to $10.00 above what you would normally buy for yourself was a good choice. If you really wanted to show off, the liquor store sometimes sold long skinny paper bags in a festive print to slide that bottle of wine into. But now you can buy a Velvet or Satin wine bags from stores like Cost Plus World Imports (my favorite place in the world), Target, and even KMart. Once upon a time, during the holidays, you could always shine with a “Holiday Themed” plastic plate filled with Nestle Toll House cookies covered in plastic wrap and a pre-made bow on top.
Those days are gone, long gone (thanks partially to Martha Stewart). It is a lot more difficult to give a perfect, unique, and etiquette-ally correct gift. (I just made up that phrase) I know fresh flowers are wrong wrong wrong. That gift is saying “stop your hostessing duties and find a vase for my flowers”. Poinsettias can work during the holidays but for goodness sakes replace the nasty foil they come wrapped in with something classier. I think Martha would want us to craft something, a good thing, with our own hands (in our spare time). Perhaps a holiday ornament made from a Pinecone, Fairy Dust and reclaimed Vermont barnwood? (Martha would like that). You could also wander aimlessly up and down the aisles of Joann’s or Michaels looking for inspiration and attempt some craft that you know is way beyond your ability.
Also regarding your hostess, I know to never-ever forget the “Thank you note”. My sister, Ann says they are de rigeur. When I was first married my mother gave me “Personals”, they are note cards, 5 1/2 inch by 4 ¼. Cream colored, and just your name on the front, in black, simple script, or calligraphy if you want to be edgy. (Julia Shelton DuCharme, but those are long gone and I rather photoshop something cooler). You should write something along the lines of “Thank you for inviting us to you lovely party, your house is lovely, and it was lovely to meet your lovely family”
It’s kind of important to think about the Hostess and where they fit into you life. For a Christmas party with my bosses, I would bring beer, and wine, and maybe more beer. It’s always appropriate with them. But…a party with my husbands company in a private home has me perplexed (and a little freaked out). I have never met any of these people and the hostess gift (and outfit) has to be perfect. I need the kind of thing that says “Thank you for inviting us to your party and thank you for Jim’s continued employment”. I’m not sure what that is. I’m thinking of going with home made Fleur de Sel Chocolate caramels in a white box with outrageously expensive ribbon. Does that convey the thought?
I think anything would actually be thoughtful and considerate, as long as it is given with the “Holiday Spirit” and I don’t do tequila shots and sing The Holly and the Ivy standing barefoot on a table I should be fine.